GREAT NEWS! 533,000 LOST JOBS LAST MONTH!!!

After hearing this unexpectedly fantastic jobs number, I rushed on over to my online brokerage account; and went 1000% long on full-margy.

I can't really divulge my proprietary stock market methodology here (*cough*yahoofinancestockscreener*cough*largecap*cough*retail/luxury/commercialrealestate/reits/homebuilders/mortgagecompanies/ratingsagencies/homeimprovement/automakers/furniture/yachtbuilders/casinos/commercialmortgagebackedsecurities/investmentbanks(2)"bankholdingcompanies(2)"*cough*p/e>150*cough*), but!, I will say that my conservative investing style has a 91% chance of producing such large sums of cash profits, that I'll need to hire Wells Fargo Armored to deliver them directly into waiting holes dug into my back yard.

I cannot overstate how great this news is and how extremely bullish it is for the stock market, and the overall U.S. economy in general.

Please allow me to explain. But first, I'll need you to put your skepticism on hold for a few minutes and let your mind fully expand with no prejudices, pro or con.

See, this is all about reading the story within the story. Sure, there are some that would say there are now 1.9 million jobs that have vanished so far in 2008 (not including December), and then they'd say this is the largest monthly negative number since 1974. And then they'd follow that "Doom & Gloom" statistical mumbo-jumbo up with nonsense about fruadulent BLS adjustments, and that actually based on just 2008, the revisions for Nov. + Dec. will add another 300,000 - 400,000 to the unemployment number. Then they'll really piss me off and insinuate that these unemployment numbers are a lagging indicator and the U.S. economy is in very bad shape.

But!, I'm a glass half-full type of cat. Soon to be President Obama has already indicated that he wants to start public works projects that will rival FDR in size/scope, right? This linked article mentions 2.5 million jobs created by Obama.

Just where do you think Obama will find the workers to pull this off? No, not illegal aliens. But BAMM! these 2 million plus unemployed workers of 2008, silly. This is what you call a good old fashioned "WIN-WIN".

You add this explosive ingredient to the fact that there is "billions of dollars sitting on the sidelines waiting to invest in this market" AND also within the same 5 minutes of watching CNBC, I learned we are officially at the bottom.

So, connect the dots, and you will see as I do, that this market is poised to explode with great force into the stratosphere of Dow 9200 or so.

Get on the rocket ship "Challenger" for this historic voyage.